DAY 322: Making a Wolf Creek contingency plan

20 Jul

THE sun starts going down on the Nullarbor in West Australia, which means we’ve got four hours of dodging roos before we reach Norseman.

Each town we see on the GPS turns out to be a battered old servo with some dim sims in a bain-marie.

At one servo we’re nursing our self-frothed lattes from a machine when a bloke in a trucker cap starts filling the Holden GTS next to us. Apart from the nice ride, we notice him because he’s muttering to himself over some weird zumba music blaring from his stereo… and then he slings a rope in the boot.

He pulls out of the servo, does a loop and drives back in.

Here's a weirdo we saw earlier.

After a piss break, we set off ourselves, and soon find we’re driving past the same fella, who’s now pulled over by the side of the road. There’s a collective “eep” from our car as he swings out behind us, but I’ll also admit to a flash of excitement, given that we’ve spent the last 10 hours on the Nullar-bore discussing bowel movements and reading bits of Woman’s Day out loud.

The bloke pulls a U-ey and we see his tail-lights fade. We reckon he’s just joshing with us, but we decide we need a contingency plan.

First off, a vote: if we’re followed, keep driving or stop? It’s unanimous: stop. Then wait for him to get out. Then drive. Then stop. Then wait for him to get out. Etc.

Back-up plan is one of attack. The weapons available to us are:

Luke warm cappuccino (2)

Bottle of Jo Malone perfume

iPod lead

Rolled up copy of Woman’s Day (the one with a Joanne Lees interview in it)

Mini can of Dove antiperspirant + lighter

Knitting needles.

We’ll be right.

Keeper? He wasn’t bad looking, but we’ll leave him on the ’Bore.

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