DAY 218: Submitting to Boars and Whores

6 Apr

THE moment I clapped eyes on Boars and Whores magazine (not its real name, but pretty close) in a servo in rural NSW, I knew I had to be in it, somehow.

It’s all blokes in camos and night goggles, girls in blood-stained bikinis, and boars with their jaws propped open by sticks. Compelling stuff.

While my mate Stacey is determined I go to a ‘Dog a Hog’ gathering and enter the wet T-shirt competition, I’m hesitant. I need to stay true to myself when hunting down new a new experience (AND SLITTING ITS THROAT), and I like animals. My fundraising efforts for the RSPCA as a child were of what you might call fanatical proportions; I once stood up knock-kneed in school assembly and proposed we test cosmetics on prisoners; and if I hadn’t discovered booze and rock’n’roll and selfish things like that, I’d probably have had an illustrious career breaking into labs and liberating things from cages.

However, Boars and Whores does have a kiddy section, whereby chips off the old block can just send in their artistic impressions of Mum lying atop a freshly slayed grunter in her smalls, or Dad brandishing a Remington and a stubby. That can’t hurt to join in.

A kiddy-wink's pic in the latest issue.

I draw my own depiction of a boar hunt and send it in for consideration. I’ll let you know how I go.

My effort.

Keeper? Yes, I think I will submit more rubbish to magazines.

6 Responses to “DAY 218: Submitting to Boars and Whores”

  1. Jo Trotter April 8, 2011 at 12:18 pm #

    You are hilarious.

    Keep it coming,

    • Hey! April 9, 2011 at 9:24 pm #

      Thank you, Jo!

  2. James Sharrock May 3, 2011 at 9:40 am #

    Hey Jenny

    Hope ya ace!! I always pick up a Bacon Busters for the Babes and Boars Calender. I stuck one up on the back of the change room door at a sailing club in London. You should check out the film Razorback if you havn’t already. Its an Australian classic! Anyways shame I didn’t hear back from you while I was out in Aus, would’ve been nice to see ya x

    • Hey! May 5, 2011 at 9:10 am #

      How did that go down at the London sailing club? Eye-boggling aplenty, I’ll be bound! I have seen Razorback… if it weren’t for the mindless violence I think I’d enjoy a boar hunt.


  1. DAY 299: Writing to a stranger in a magazine « Hey man, now you're really living - June 30, 2011

    […] written to magazines (Boars and Whores), I’ve written thank you notes, but I’ve yet to write to a thank you note to someone in […]

  2. DAY 59, YEAR 2: Being a nudist « Hey man, now you're really living - September 2, 2012

    […] nudists send their photos in every month. I’m not sure my artistic contribution to Boars & Whores ever got printed, but my arse is as good as […]

Comments are closed.

%d bloggers like this: