Don't worry, this isn't my one.
VISION boards have been used as a tool to focus one’s goals for decades, but ever since self-help gurus like Oprah have been peddling that nebulous “law of attraction” (probably the most bankable phenomenon in recent years), the art of pasting pictures of things you aspire to own and achieve to a bit of board has really catapulted into the zone of Things Winners Do.
It’s “ground breaking cognitive neuroscience”, according to one dedicated website – oh, guffaw – and there’s even a Vision Board Institute, at which you can study to be a Certified Vision Board Coach, thus helping other people to upgrade their life visioning processes. And other guff.
As a plain old map of your ideals and intentions it’s not a bad ruse, though – and two things I focused hard on as a kid did come true: I made believe I was the editor of various mags and rags, and told my mother I would move to the other side of the world. (Unfortunately joining the Famous Five and being regularly rescued by firemen failed to materialise.)
So here’s my vision board.
A ute upgrade. NB: ute must work.
One of these.
Ablility to do fancy ATV moves, including reverse.
Carpet and curtains in my house. (That’s not me in the picture, incidentally. That’s 200 per cent more winsome LA music journo Kim Morgan. I thought it couldn’t hurt to include her on this vision board too.)
I need a chap on hand to prune my trees.
Optus reception outside of CBDs.
Ability to talk to people in social situations without stabbing the lemon in my drink with my straw.
Keeper? Yes. Will print out and stick on the wall.
Honestly, I don’t know what I’d do in social situations without the ability to stab my drink lemon with my straw.