THERE are few things as whimper-worthy as an Indian head massage (not to be confused with a Chinese head massage, as I found out to my cost), so I buy a book that’ll coach me on the matter.
After a good peruse, I dim the lights, warm some towels in front of the fire, whip Old Dog’s shirt off and settle down to give his lymphatic drainage system what for (a nice treat before Day 233: Hogtying Someone).
- Cradle crown with hands.
- Cup palms over eyes.
- Rotate head on its stalk.
- Smooth almond oil onto hair, then stroke for ages.
- And ages.
- Tap your fingers around a bit to get those lymphs going crazy.
- ‘Iron’ the arms. (NB: Not with actual iron.)
- I made some stuff up with the ears – you can just go with the flow really.
Keeper? Yes. Every time a bloke offers to massage me it turns out to be a trick, but this just shows it can be a lovely experience.
I hope “rotate head on its stalk” was a turn of phrase from the book!
Also, you had better deliver on the hogtying promise…
Hogtying is definitely fairly imminent. I had to let him have his hands free to organise the next few days’ adventures, but that’s done now.