Class.
TODAY I went around Emmo’s to work on getting my ute roadworthy – the handsome beast’s been parked in his drive since the previous owner wheezed it around. It’s the first time I’ve ever worked on a vehicle – hell, I only put petrol in one for the first time six months ago.
The ‘To Replace’ list ends up being quite large, which is what you get if you consult a whizbang mechanic I suppose. I’m sure we can narrow it down to one or two items.
TO REPLACE
Mirrors
Door trim clips
Driver’s window regulator
Door hinges
Driver’s door cup
Fuck, let’s just replace the whole door
Glove box liner (really?) and lid latch receiver
Festoon bulb
Cigarette lighter
Ashtray
Bench seat cover
Mud flaps x 2
Tyres x 2 (tread is “in line with the tread wear indicator”)
Driver’s side quarter window moulding
Tonneau hooks
Shock absorbers x 4
Left quarter front side mould under fuel filter
Snib button LHS
Inhibitor switch
Foam mattress
Left hand bench seat side something or other
Water squirter motor
Air filter
Radiator cap
So you see, a lot of these are aesthetic issues which we might just brush under the carpet. Which no doubt needs replacing too. All we get to do today is swap the indicator and reverse lights around – some genius stuck the wrong bulbs in the wrong holes – and bicker about whether the cabin looks “gay” or not. I’ve high hopes we’ll get the old girl roadworthy next time though – and I’ve put the nitrous oxide manual at the top of the stack on Emmo’s bookshelf for inspiration.
Keeper? I’d better get at least 10 years out of her after all this.
I unscrewed all sorts of things in here, Emmo had a sigh, and I screwed them back in again. Bonza!
Hey man, now you're really living 
Surely the foam mattress is NUMBER 1 on the ‘replace’ list? Someone else’s ‘don’t come a-knocking’ mattress?!?!?!
That’s my feeling too, Mel. After all, I will need to be sleeping in my car by the time I’ve paid for all that lot.