DAY 155: Cracking that whip

2 Feb


WHEN I saw girls stalking around the Deni Ute Muster last year, cracking whips and swigging warm VB, it planted a seed in my bonce that’s pushed through the top soil.

Months later, my own bullwhip has finally arrived from Bert’s Outback Bargain Bin and I’m keen to get, uh, cracking.

As with most things, it’s harder than it looks – you’ve essentially got to break the sound barrier with your forward flick. After 50 attempts in the backyard I’ve produced one sharp thwack that’s the genuine article, and a lot of accidental flogging of my arse and forearms. Supposedly you can take someone’s eye out with one of these things, or break their jaw… I’d like to know how.

This dude makes a sonic boom look easy:

Keeper? For the time being it’s been relegated to the Ab King Pro file in the spare room, where all useful things go to rest.

That wardrobe was already pink when I moved in.

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