I’M in an ugly mood today, and up for a spot of Charlie Sheen behaviour. I can’t coax anyone into a strip club in daylight hours, so I decide to spunk some money in the pokies at the Cumberland.
By rights it should make me feel better, but instead I become more irritated as I can’t fathom the rules. I’m just randomly punching buttons, and it keeps telling me the game’s over while urging me to play my seven cents. So which is it? Everyone else in here seems to be managing, which is mortifying, given the state of them. I give up and go home to watch Two and a Half Men. Yeah, how do you like that?
Keeper? I get bored after losing just three dollars – not my vice. Next time I’ll try and do something nice for someone to quicken my pulse.
Hey man, now you're really living 
Could you actually pen a sister blog, called What Would Charlie Sheen do?