THIS entry was supposed to have more of a triumphant tone, but due to unforseen circumstances there’s been a change to the scheduled programming.
I can’t quite believe I’ve failed when I’ve had experience running a car off the road, hitting a possum and driving a banger with wonky wheels. You’d think that covers all bases, but no – I’m failed for turning right when I’m in the middle lane, which, quite frankly, I’ve seen loads of people do. It’s a bit gutting, because – no offence – I really wasn’t going to be one of those softcocks who didn’t pass first time.
Keeper? One more time. And ask to see my parallel parking.
Hey man, now you're really living 
I passed third time. Once I took off and couldn’t work out why the car was slow and the handbrake was one. You’re going to beat me for sure.