I’VE been wondering what the hell I’m going to do for today’s task, so thank god this happens.
It’s been raining so long and so hard it feels like the world’s ending, and so my driving lesson involves snorkelling through brand new rivers that have formed over roads around Guildford and Daylesford. One bloke’s looking miserably at the top half of his tractor floating in a field on our way through, and on the way back it’s gone altogether.
It’s around this point I merely tickle the crumbly gutter with one wheel when suddenly we’re locked into it at speed, like a bicycle tyre in a tram track, before I correct the manoeuvre by steering us into incoming traffic. I correct again and we hurtle off 100m into the bush.
“Brake! Brake!” the instructor screams, even though he’s got a brake as well. “I AM,” I snap, pointing at my foot. And it’s true – it’s on the brake, we’re just having a bit of a prolonged skid.
“What would you have to do to get them to stop, roll the bloody car?” he tuts of the other tittering drivers after checking he still has all his wheels.
We giggle for the next 10 kays… but seriously, I’m well impressed by my reaction skills. I reckon if the tester saw that he’d pass me immediately.
Keeper? I wanted to do it again straight away.
The tractor. I didn't hit it.
Hey man, now you're really living 
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