DAY 79: Turning my head into a Girl’s World

I wasn't allowed a Girl's World. SO unfair.

THE smell of hair mousse still takes me back to being 13 years old, so I keep a can in the bathroom cabinet to occasionally sputter some into my hand and reminisce.

My first stabs at makeup at that age were with an entirely red palette. Red eye shadow (provoking the inevitable “You look ill” from Mum), red-orange lipstick and red blush. Well… It might have been that eye shadow again.

A year later, I bleached my hair and went for red lips with liquid eyeliner and mascara… and that’s what I’ve been doing ever since.

Behind the times or what? I’ve never so much as dusted on a bronzer or plucked stray hairs out of my pastel lip gloss on a windswept day.

Today I find a makeover site called www.taaz.com, and for anyone who ever had a Girls World styling head, you’re going to find this waaaaay cool. You upload a clear picture of your visage and then drag dots to fit the points of your features. Done. Now it’s time to colour in.

Before.

I decide to go for a Pamela Anderson look, to go the whole hog. At each step of choosing a colour from a spectrum wheel, I’m told which cosmetics company provides the shade (Cover Girl, Clinique, all the biggies), and for how much. You can even click to order. Or you can ignore and just turn yourself into a drag queen.

You can plump lips, whiten teeth and wig up, but let’s not be silly. I go for pecan foundation, lashings of bronzer, and line my lips with a darker hue. Dated, I know. But at least only one decade too late.

Add gloss. Add more gloss.  Now bronze. Now go out and find a footballer.

After.

Keeper? If only to marvel at how I suddenly look like I’m great at gobbies.